Show Mans Tipple. Match reports for first 4 games.

SHOWMANS TIPPLE.

(An infrequent blog (a blog is a discussion or informational site published on the World Wide Web and consisting of discrete entries (“posts”) of the travails of a Wigan supporter, often inspired by the names of the local beer.

The first match of the season. We have always made easy work of Reading. Last season saw us come so close to an instant re-entry to the pretentiousPrem where you can’t now take mobile phones with you to record goals. And we are already being tipped to be up there in the running again this season. How the pundits know that, only they know, but after the first game of the season … Blackburn v Cardiff the learned Kevin Kilbane said

“It is difficult to call how the season could go for these sides after the first game”.

Astute eh? And he’s paid more than I am!

It started with Geoff asking me how’s your Summerbee-n? After a short chat he asked Watson for you this weekend?

Well, it was another trip north to the hallowed turf of the DW North Stadium; Mrs Cloo (aka Samantha), simply said H-ugo, if you want.

It started at the Swan and Station. Football is surrounded in superstition and sometimes when I go there before a match, we win. So it is worth another try.

The beer, a gentle and light beer with the lingering flavours of Himalayan balsam and a hint of the waters of the Wigan canal with a super market trolley for body slithered down a treat, just how I expected the brace of goals we were going to slide past Reading. Despite Ali not being in goal, the Omans were good…. the sun was out despite the forecast of rain, the wind was light and the crowd was gathering. I kid you not, the beer was called ‘Showman’s Tipple’. Clearly we were in for a treat.

With eager anticipation we were Perched on the edge of our seats only pleased that Bramble had left so there was no chance of him getting snarled up and tangled with anyone unnecessarily.

Callum macmanmaumumnaumum (I’m sure I’ve spelt that wrong) having spent pre-season at Brenda’s school of dancing, danced and jinxed his way down the wing confusing and frustrating everyone including Zabaletta (does anyone know what did he said when he got sent off)?

This season I have decided to make a note of the various pre-match beers I drink, it also allows me to visit a range of very different Palacios to drink the amber nectar.

By the second half the Best seemed to be over, and it sure did look as if it wasn’t only me who had enjoyed some pre match Showmans Tipple. My guess is that the whole team except Kyphotic McArthur, who was on fire, even up to the last minute, had enjoyed some. Along with the players half the crowd decided to have a Espisnooza.

In fact I was so fed up I even though of going along to the Wigan Pier and seeing if I could go for a CRUS-AT the boat yard. It was so nice and sunny, I decided to buy an ice cream in a Kone and hope it didn’t Melchiot.

What I do know is that FORSHAW there needs to be a bit of WHELAN and dealin’ in the next 10 days to get the problem sorted, we were left by our previous manager Owening us a lot.

I got on the train, not only frustrated by the result but also because I had only just realised that I’d left Za .. ki in my Mrs Cloo’s car and I was going to struggle to get in when I got home. Initially I was also pretty hacked off that I had forgotten my CAMARA, but to be honest I now don’t give a shi-it-u, no one played very Cleverly.

I am wondering whether I may give up Wigan and go up to Scotland instead for a bit of Sammon fishing, but only because Valencia is too far away.

Cardiff and Charlton happened … with texts from Jonathan saying it was ‘heart-breaking’ with a last minute deflection. I only wish I hadn’t gone to Wetherspoons and had a pint of ‘Battle of Burton Bridge’. A nice successful feeling drink but it had a late kick to it, and I woke up with a rotten headache.  There just seemed to be a little bit rAmis with the team for both of those games.

But of Carson, like all Wigan fans we keep the faith for another day …..

Blackpool, well that is another story. The half of ‘Silver Trophy’ had to be ordered to remind everyone of Wigan’s SILVER TROPHY, as if we need reminding. It had a real sparkle and fresh zing to it. Whilst we only won 1 – 0, it was a moral victory of 7 – 0, and even though the BBC said we only had 2 shots we know they hate us and hate reporting the true facts as much as they hate reporting the true facts about the pummelling of Gaza by Israel. We had shots on target with the same frequency of certain air strikes! The ‘Savannah’ beer only helped demonstrate the drought of goals which we were to see for the next 90 minutes. A dry beer with a frustrating lack of finish.

All in all the half of ‘Hop a Doodle Doo’ seemed a fruity way to finish another exhausting edge of the seat, nail biting afternoon at Wigan. It has a certain springy optimistic immediate taste, but just lacks a successful finish, but all the same it is quite satisfying.

Amos say I Garcia a good win next week against Birmingham as (c)Aldswell now in the squad.

It does look as if we’ve spent less than a Fyvie on getting new players during the summer. Maybe Mr Jackson should apply for a Grant from somewhere to put a Holt to our lack of fire Powerll, but I do think there will have to be a bit of serious Rangelling for some new guys. But really we will take anyone who can have a good Shotton goal as we don’t want to spend a Fortune on another Duffy(er).

So, this blog is closing; I’m Peter-ing out, I can think of no Moore and above all, even if you aren’t Strachan down with uncontrollable laughter – I am! Iv-another idea for the next musings, so to finish, I’ll just say I really hope, in terms of promotion, we can Pollitt off this season.

So, folks, I hope you’ve found the match report for the first 3 games just a Liddell bit of interest. I’m even more knackered than Boyceeeeee, so off for an Espisnooza now. Don’t Molaney about my efforts – if you can do better – do it yourself!!
(I’m going to have to organize a Filan system for my blogs).

Oh, and if you feel so inclined please sign the petition:

http://www.avaaz.org/en/petition/UEFA_FIFA_The_FA_Helen_Grant_Minister_for_Sport_ad_Tourism_Stop_Israel_taking_part_in_UEFA_2016_football_competition/edit/

Have a look – its self explanatory.

Credits and acknowledgements to Carl and Dave – both of whom are as anonymous as I am.

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